SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

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SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

This is a bad and silly idea :lol:

SOTS Supreme has been bubbling and percolating just a little bit in my brain - not as much as DINO EATER and other Comix! stuff, but it's there. I can't just abandon my first-ever verse... or can I?

Anyway, I don't intend on bringing back the 'verse by getting myself a 'verse forum. I don't want that, I think it's haaaard and I think I can be more productive by producing an actual story than writing about an article about the ten different kinds of OrGazmo flavors.

ANYWAY - SOTS Supreme.

I pitched it to Ford, and he was :mrgreen: But perhaps under that :mrgreen: , he could've been weeping tears of blood (from his bleeding laser eyes... breasts) on behalf of us all. I don't know.

I pitched it to Malchus, and he just smiled and nodded. I admire the man, he has a high tolerance for insanity (and inanity - which he generously contributed!).

Per thinks it's what Paul Verhoven would've made if he was the one in charge of the Fifth Element.

Moby thinks I should go back into SRS BSNSS. He is wrong.

But, really. I'm addicted to this silly stuff - ever since JC, and progressing with those silly short stories and Comix and DINO EATER.

So now, if all things are swell, it culmunates in a full circle!



SOVEREIGNS OF THE STARS - Supreme!

It is the year 3456 - a thousand years in the future of vanilla SOTS. Many elements will be retained, perhaps Old SOTS will be a prelude. They won't really conflict with each other. They are one and the same... spiritually!

The universe is now posthuman and postreal. Everyone is loopier by a factor of ten billions. Everyone is angry!

Enter John Baylor. Since he'll be our storyteller for SOTS Supreme, we should start with him. He was born to a not-so-well off family. Since they're really poor, all they could afford for their son were recessive genes. So Baylor is just a mediocre human at best. He is slightly dim.

He has no aspirations, and went to school and got the shit kicked out of him by the academia. Until the United Sovereignty Marine Corp's recruitment drive - in which they drove a HUEG Terminator Tank over the school's lawn!

So Baylor joined the Marines! He became all he could be! Semper Fi, motherfucker! Hooah!

Drill camp was harsh and rough! He was molested by his Drill Instructor - a man who lost his lower body when he sat on a chair boobytrapped with a land mine by Bragulans. He has treads for legs, and with his treads he runs over Baylor's feet regularly.

Nevertheless, Baylor was a good trooper and he caught the attention of the respected Staff Sergeant Scrooge - who grabbed Baylor into his regiment, the 101,531st DUCK FUCKS.

Baylor and his buddies are given ridiculous callsigns. His three buddies become Huey, Dewey and Louie. Baylor himself is called Donald.

Their regimental banner is that of Donald Duck saluting a portrait of Adolph Hitler.

That is Malchus' contribution.

Anyway, Huey becomes the Squad Designated Cyborg (SDC) - so he can carry outrageously heavy things, like howitzers. His arms (and legs?) are removed and placed in a freezer, while the USMC gives him cybernetics! Upon his discharge, he will return his cybernetic limbs to the USMC (which will bestow them to another SDC and will have his fleshy arms (and legs?) replaced. This will be a plot point near the end of Baylor's deployment, in which he must battle the bureaucracy which has lost Huey's limbs.

Dewey can be the Squad Designated Marksman - the deal is similar to Huey's, except he has his eyeballs and ocular lobes of his brain replaced by fancy spiffy stuff. He is a sniper, this is his rifle - there are many others like it, but this one is his. Without it, and his cybernetic eyesockets, he is nothing!

Louie can be the medic. I think at some point, she gets a Million Dollar Wound and gets discharged. She might get replaced by another woman - an old one who used to work for the orphanage, taking care of babies - with four udder-like breasts (since she breastfed the orphanage's newborns). Maybe not.

There is Gander. He will be an incompetent bastard, like Baylor. A rival, so to speak. He is inhumanly lucky and he is also rich. So rich that his custom modded body cannot accept mere "baseline" transplants and transfusions - since his branded organs cannot interface with mere generic cells. This will be his downfall when his body gets infected after he cannot accept a Chlorine Transfusion in the battlefield. Baylor's a universal donor, as his Chlorine Type is 3562KKR (Kappa Kappa Rho) - but it's generic genes. Thrice damn his recessive genes!

But Gander is a lucky SOB. He survives, but gets hit by a Bragulan RPG some time later. His head is removed from his ruined body, but it is put in a freezer and I think he gets resucitated - but he'll never be combat capable ever again.

Selphie is also similar to Gander. She was born into money and her parents made sure she got the best genetic treatment. Thus she wasn't born out of a human womb, neither was she born out of a cheap artificial one either! She hatched from an egg! With that, and her gene-modded replicanated nature, she's like... ten times smarter than Baylor or something. She's multi-talented and can perform a whole lot of tasks from communications and data-managament, to basic ship maintenance (as she has downloaded the knowledge). She'll be everywhere.

Baylor will celebrate her birthday by going "HAPPY HATCHING DAY!", which annoys her. She has no navel.

Baylor himself isn't totally mundane. He is also a posthuman, so he can auto-translate alien dialects which he's downloaded subbing/dubbing software for. He can memorize things in great detail, only if he bothers to remember them (hah!)... but that stuff consumes a lot of memory. He's as physically fit as any 80s Action Hero. He can take photographs with his eyes - but that falls into the same problem as his defective mnemonic devices.

He can listen to tunes and hum them pretty well. When he listens to and hums a tune he didn't pay for, the Terran Recording Association of Media Producers (TRAMP) catches him and with their posthuman postreal post-anti post-piracy software, they shut down his auditory and vocal functions - turning him into a deafmute with the mother of all sore throats.

Baylor can still communicate though. He can understand communications thanks to subtitles, and can still speak by writing his thoughts on a tiny chalk board.

When this happens, he takes violent revenge on the TRAMP. Whether or not this happens after he's been discharged, or when he's on shoreleave - or this is the reason WHY he got discharged... I have yet decided.


ANYWAY, all that is not REALLY important.

The important thing is that Baylor is an insignificant asshole and a lot of bad things happens to him.

He's in the Sovereign Star Ship Iron Fist, a kilometer-long semi-triangular cruiser for the USMC. It's not a good ship - it's a shitty jack of all trades one. It carries fighters, it carries ground troops, it is designed for combat, but it's just average in all respects.

The USMC is a cash-strapped and shitty organization. It does anti-piracy operations, anti-insurgency operations, when there's a ground war they are first to arrive... but that's it. The Navy has ships that are twice as big and ten times as killy (usually more). The Army has mobile anti-ship anti-orbit artillery pieces the size of skyscrapers.

The Marines, the infantry themselves, are used to quell disturbances and act as sidedishes for conventional war. But in conventional war, they are hopelessly obsolete. Part of the stories will deal with that fact - how mundanity can barely keep up in a grim dark future of exteme killfuckery.

One of the climaxes involves a minor Bragulan uprising comprised of a few cruisers attacks a planet being patrolled by the Iron Fist. The cruisers - which also carry ground assets (like the Iron Fist), as the Bragulan uprising is shitty and strapped for cash - deploys ground forces to take the planet while they themselves take on the Iron Fist and other USE patrol boats.

[Moby wonders why a ground invasion would be bothered with. See, these Brags are nuts and they want the planet. But they're also poor as shit, so they can't afford to have landing ships to keep in reserve. Their warships ARE their landing ships - and so to avoid damage to their payload of ground forces, they disembark their ground forces just as they engage in space combat. It would suck if your tanks and infantry get wasted before they make landfall.]

[OTOH, if the Brags lose their ships in orbit AFTER their ground forces have landed... well, no one can accuse Bragulans of giving a fuck about their fellow man. Or fellow Brag. Whatever.]

ANYWAY. The ground attack involves clouds of thousands of SNT fighters armed with air-to-ground and air-to-air nuclear tac nukes, and they're going in at hypersonic. It's all The Big One shit, with high-mach interceptions and shit. The USE's SF-44 White Sharks are more than up to the task of killfucking any Bragulan fighters.

*cue homoerotic radio chatter*

BUT. That is unimportant. Aside from homoerotic radio chatter, all Baylor and his grunts can see of the sky and space war is just the sky exploding and catching fire. They have more important tasks at hand.

BRAGULAN TANKS - as big as buildings, as big as malls, as big as ships - are dropped from orbit. They have liquid-fueled thrusters that maneuver them for crash landing! They crash and make craters! They're, like, half-buried in the ground - imbedded in the planetary crust.

They use their cannons, that shoot shells the size of eighteen wheelers, to shoot THROUGH the ground - digging obscene trenches through the earth, allowing them to move forward.

The fact that their half-buried allows them to evade Line Of Sight laser and plasma weapons, while they counter incoming attacks with point defense and atomic mortars. They grind their way into the city, ready to smash its starscrapers.

Baylor is distraught upon being ordered to engage these monstrosities - these Bragulan behemoths. He complains about how the Marine contingent and the Planetary Defense Forces number just three million men, while the Brags number in the metric fuckfulls.

Anyway, we end up seeing spectacles as Baylor and his men leap from a collapsing skyscraper ON TO one of these Brag Behemoths. The Squad Designated Cyborgs start using monomolecular entrenching tools to pry access hatches open. But since these access hatches are, like, blast doors proof against nuclear detonations... well, it doesn't go too well.

They blow up the periscopes with nuclear demo charges, amongst other things. Or they could feign planting airstrike laser designators. They WON'T do that, since they DON'T want to call down an airstrike right on themselves.

But the Bragulans are crazy fuckers and they think its Standard Operating Procedure to do suicide kamikaze calling down of airstrikes and strafing runs. So the troop detachment of the Brag Behemoth emerges from within the tank - and they have with them their own tanks! TANKS ON TOP OF TANKS!

It's just like Endor and Baylor's team engages in a firefight and ends up inside the Brag Behemoth.

They ruin its shit.

AT ANOTHER OCCASION. Baylor is confronted by a squad of Bragulans in cityfighting. Perhaps this is in the aftermath, after the BIG INVASION is thwarted. With their orbital support gone, the Bragulans become stragglers and are doomed to peasants' deaths.

See, the Bragulan rebels are just a pissant force. A REAL Imperial Bragulan Force could've conducted an all out invasion of supertanks on ALL of the continents on ALL of the planets in the starsystem. But these are just pissant insurgents, so meh.

Anyway, Baylor finds a Brag strongpoint and engage in a fire fight. The Brags call down "artillery". Baylor hears "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED" from his early warning system. In spite he calls down his own artillery.

As the nuclear artillery comes down on Baylor, the IRON FIST prepares to orbitally bombard the Bragulan position with a "precision" bolt of plasma.

The Bragulan strongpoint gets the fuck out of their, and amidst them is Baylor squad.

The nukes and plasma hit, and the blast wave sends everyone flying. A lot of folks are killed, but in the aftermath, Baylor and his shellshocked survivors engage the Bragulans in close quarters combat. Even degenerating into hand-to-hand, in which a Bragulan punches a Marine's head off, and Baylor harpoons one of them with an entrenching tool.


Anyway, it's a hard day at work.


BAYLOR doesn't do this shit all the time, though. His first exploit could just be taking on pirates who are boarding a vessel. Zero-g CQC!

Another exploit could be containing a civil disturbance. They play riot police as some cultists, religionists, Viking fundamentalists, hamurabbis, and whatnot start stirring up shit.

The Viking fundamentalists start throwing objects at Baylor, some of the Marines get hurt. But the RULES OF ENGAGEMENT say that they cannot fire unless fired upon - so Baylor decides not to use firearms. Instead, the Marines in their power armor start punching the protestors in the face, while beating them with sticks,.

LATER (or EARLIER) ON - Baylor and his marines land on a feral world in Wild Space. It's not USE territory, but they receive a distress beacon from some pilgrims and find that their crashed ship has been ransacked, and that their bodies have been devoured.

THIS could be TIED IN with that anti-piracy operation. Maybe when the pirates boarded that stricken civilian ship, the civilians evacuated and their escape pod landed in that planet populated by...

...Mad Maxian POSTAPOCALYPTIC CANNIBAL TRIBES, and they venerate a hippopotamus.

NONETHELESS, it is against the Sovereignty's Prime Directive to interfere with the affairs of "primitive and uncivilized cultures of paleosavages" - so the Marines eventually get out.

NOT AFTER a hippie moron on Baylor's squad takes the hippo.

"Private! Why have you this God-Hippo on a leash on your person!"

Then they are beset upon by the Pseudo-Connoltian POSTAPOCALYPTIC CANNIBAL TRIBES. Baylor and the Marines kill them all or something.


Anyway, it'll be sorta like Hot Fuzz. In Space.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Ford Prefect »

Actually, it's nothing like Hot Fuzz in Space at all. :P

Honestly, while initially I thought this was great, I look back on it and think that I was being silly. The fact that the Bragulans sound like frothing at the mouth retards is problematic. I like the idea of life being so assholish that you can get your hearing and voice taken away, but at the same time I don't see how it would result in a particularly functional society. I mean, dysfunctional is one thing, but it still needs to be actually possible to live in it.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

It just depends on the presentation!

EDIT:

AND I am certain a lot of this weirdness will be relegated to background details.

Hrm... perhaps this whole deal with the crazy Bragulans might be due to USE intervention in contested space... humanitarian crisis! Rogue Bragulan actions! Political whatsits!

EDIT:

YES!

Wild Space, or the Sword Worlds. We all know Wild Space, it's Wild Space.

But the Sword Worlds... dig this. Humans sent out colony settler ships, and they settled on a far away patch of space that also had Bragulan settlers. This was in the distant past, and before the Imperial Brag or the USE established official presences... well, territorial claims kind of got iffy and fuzzy.

The Sword Worlds will be this "politically disputed" territory where both sides have interests, but neither sides have claim. So they can fund proxy wars, intelligence ops, whatnot. It'll be a complicated scenario, politically.

Maybe since the Brags don't give a fuck of the state of humanity in these Sword Worlds, we have Rogue Bragulans going about messing up the place. Actually OWNING planets. The Imperials don't give a fuck - if they enslave humans and turn them into whores, Byzon doesn't care.

The USE, OTOH, is getting pissed at this. The situation has been happening for decades - maybe a century - but they cannot risk major military operations so close to the Bragulan Border.

They try to make diplomatic overtures with the Imperial Bragulans, but it takes loooong since Byzon is a lunatic and they're like... Soviet Russia, in space.

Eventually they do get a seal of approval - to killfuck these Rogue Bragulans. The Imperial Brags won't care, they don't give a fuck, as long as these actions don't upset the local balance of power too much.

So the USE and the USMC goes: FUCK YEAH!

The Rogue Bragulans get the USE's mailed fist to the face.

But the USMC can't do this shit in too strong a force - lest they risk upsetting the Imperial Bragulans nearby. So they have to go in this... in near rag-tag proportions. They want to go there to fight themselves, but if they go too strong it might be dangerous - but the situation with the Rogue Brags is bad enough that the USE can't just give dissident mujahadeens Space Stinger missiles or shit. Baylor gets sent in. It's an out-and-out brawl.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Peregrin »

Hmmm. I thought you initially wanted it to be more of a serious dystopia and less absoludicrous, but it seems like you've instead sent it on an express train to Weirdsville, so that it strikes me like a less wanky if more cyberpunk-ish (at least that it things look to me right now) version of the old Logical World with the comedy not merely black but so dark that it acts as a miniature dark hole. :lol: Or, alternatively, a de-WH40Kized Jaded Chronicles.

On the other hand, you could argue very well that the weird stuff makes it more of a genuine attempt to speculate how society will be changed by this sort of ultratech while still extrapolating from existing social structures that, let's face it, seem unlikely to change more than cosmetically. (which is where my comparison to a hypothetical Paul Verhoeven version of The Fifth Element comes from 8-) ) And since it's your universe first and foremost, I'm giving you a thumbs up. Making Baylor a deaf mute, though, is putting quite a challenge for most writers.

By the way - I happen to quite like the idea of Vikingist Fundamentalists. :twisted:
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

He regains his hearing after he ruins the ass of some major recording corporation.

The silly stuff is mere background information - no different than Burgerboat or Vatican Burger or FreedomBeef.

It's the fact that I will take the story matters 100% seriously that's gonna make this hellarious. Like Jarhead.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Magister Militum »

....Words fail me at describing this and I'm not sure whether that's good or bad. :mrgreen:

While it has truely awesome potential (which you should continue with), this new version of SOTS seems too jaring in terms of its over-the-top weirdness. Granted, SOTS has always been out-there in terms of kookyness, but this almost feels like it's being weird for the sake of being weird, which can get kind of tiresome (at least for some people) at times. Regardless, I'd give this the go-ahead, but I would suggest that you work on the weirdness factor, as if it becomes too overbearing in terms of its sheer insanity it can cause the actual plot to be drowned out.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

The capital of the United Sovereignty of Earth is naturally Earth.

But the President of the USE, Abdul Adamant, lives in the capital city of Vladivostok. A historic place renowned for ending the horrific World War 4.5, where the Americans signed a peace treaty with the Australians.

World War 4.5 is otherwise known as the Australian-American War, where the American Pacific Fleet devastated the Australian Armada and paved the way for the Outback Occupation. The Outback Overwatch were foiled by the Australians, though. They were excellent freedom fighters (such as the renowned Melbourne Mujahadeen), and were supplied with high-tech weaponry by the freedom-loving peoples of Russia.

But the war raged on, even as the Australians launched the Tasmanian Offensive and drove the Americans off the land. Before it got worse, the Russians made both of them stop by launching a pre-emptive strike on Israel. Thus, America was brought to the negotiation tables.

While Israel was totally devastated, the Jewish Casualties were minimal as World War 3 already saw the Hebrews driven from the Holy Land and becoming boat people. The Cobalt Bombs ruined Syria and Lebanon.

Aside from that piece of history, Earth is a wonderful planet.

The Papal Pleasure Palaces of the Vatican is a sight to behold. The Papal Processing Plants is also a major food exporter to the whole Sol System, where VaticanBurgers are sanctified and transubstantiated according to USE Health Ministry standards.

Aside from the Papal Processing Plants, where billions of Communion Cows are slaughtered every day and placed in ovens, there is also Canada - the BREADBASKET OF SOL!

Canada's mild weather is very hospitable for all forms of root vegetables, and the Great Lakes provide mineralized and fertilized water through a complex system of irrigation.

These produces are shipped through the Bering Sea Bridge and to Kazakhstan - one of the largest kosmodromes in the galaxy. Kazakhstan is a very vibrant place, a hub for commerce and communication on a galactic scale! Neighboring Afghanistan is a tranquil residential place for anyone who wants to get away from Kazakhstan's hustle and bustle.

Not too far from Afghanistan are Iran and Iraq. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon are one of the most beautiful sights in the galaxy!

New York is also a picturesque depiction, bringing up memories of ancient Venice before it sank into the sea. Like Venice, the picture of great ships sailing in the canals between magnificent buildings is very nice. But in actuality, it stinks since New York's canals are filled with raw sewage.

New York has considerable amounts of Boat Hebrews.


President Abdul Adamant used to be Admiral Abdul Adamant, so he's quite a hawk. Yet he's also a stalwart opposer of the military-industrial complex, so he reigns in the megacorporations with chained leashes.

He's not fond of the Sovereignty's state of security, it is weak! The Sovereignty must be strong! Sovereignty Strong! So he wages a campaign against the insurrectionists all over the galaxy - from Viking Extremists, to the fundamentalist crusaders who take refuge in the Colonial Coalition.

Prime Pastor Richards of the Colonial Coalition will exclaim "I WANT TO PRAY!" when the USE launches a strike into one of the Colonial shitholes that is harboring terrorists.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Ford Prefect »

Now this is more like it! :D

This is a lot better. It's silly, of course, but it's not so silly that it makes me go 'err, what?'. It feels like the successor to SotS should.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Magister Militum »

Yeah, I have to agree with Ford that this is a much better improvment. It's still silly, but not silly for the sake of silly, if you catch my drift.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

I intend on keeping or incorporating all of those things.

While nonetheless keeping the 'verse serious and grim and gritty.

Why can't I have technoir with Egg Selphies? :P
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

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The Terran Colonial Coalition will have a Prohibition.

The MegaChurches, with the blessing of Prime Pastor Richards, shall command the Colonial government to outlaw the space equivalent of alcohol. Colonial Alcohol will thus be an export-only product.

Except, the only place where alcohol can be (binge) drank is in the MegaChurches. In the Colonies, if you drink space alcohol outside of the MegaChurches, then you shall be guilty of Moral Crimes and incarcerated!

The MegaChurches will pay groups of people to lynch those who distribute immoral booze.

Oh, and in the Colonies, it will be a thing of praise if you get your liver filters replaced after drinking too much space beer. Likewise if you get your lungs scraped out after too much tobacco.


I need futuristic chemical-compound sounding names for space beer and space tobacco. To make it sound nastier.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Ford Prefect »

I like Space Beer as a term. :mrgreen: And that actually sounds rather funny.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Peregrin »

I have an idea for what they should call space beer: The Worthy Substance, which is what alcohol is Arabic for.
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Re: SOTS Supreme (A story pitch, input needed)

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

If I ever DO make the SOTSverse, one of the futurescapes I'm thinking of is a Saturn-like planet.

Now imagine its beautiful rings literally filled with habitats and space stations, chock-full of them, each one dozens of KMs wide - as big as a city. With advertisements and holograms and space traffic - all in the wonderful rings of some gas giant! The gas giant itself would be barren, home only to HUEG liquid hydrogen mining platforms and cloud cities, but its rings would be like... Blade Runner Los Angeles + Fifth Element New York... IN SPACE!
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